Single Mom Dating…More Wine, Please.

I’m just going to take a couple of gulps of this red Sangria before I discuss this topic.

Alright, let’s discuss.

I’m not new to the whole online dating approach, after all I did meet my ex on Myspace. However, the swipe right and left onling dating approach is overwhelming to say the least. I would much prefer the old fashioned way of dating over online dating any day, or the not-so-complicated online dating, like Myspace (joking).

To sum this new way of dating in one word:

FRUSTRATING

Not to mention, being a single parent makes dating life harder. My kids, career, and hobbies are my priority and take a lot of my time. When I do decide to go back out there, I find that many people don’t appreciate your time, want to lead you on, and get in your pants; or you meet the stalker type individuals that make you feel like you’re about to get buried six feet under if you dont get away asap. Phew. I dodged a couple of those.

Since my divorce, I haven’t dated much. I try, and fail. I try again, and fail again. So, I kind of go with flow and see what happens. I don’t have high expectations of meeting prince charming like from the Disney movies (Ladies, those are fairy tales. I know the truth hurts sometimes). I have occasional conversations online that lead to nowhere land, and that’s ok. Sometimes small online chat is fine too.

Besides, I have two little hearts to protect as well, and I learned the hard way when I introduced them to a couple of those I thought were going to be something real (will discuss this as a seperate subject. Stay tuned). So when I date someone, there are a few things that I look for such as their upbringing, life goals, current place in life, and if they are a parent I want to know how involved he is with his kids, which is important to me. Ladies, if he isn’t involved with his own children, he will not treat you any better.

Anyway, being single is not a bad thing either. I took some time to reflect, heal, and understand myself. My confidence and self-esteem skyrocketed since I went through my time of healing. I’m more in tune and aware when I do attempt to date, and I’m also fine when I don’t.

Getting to this point in my life took time, and this is something that everyone should do after a divorce. Healing is so important. When you’re in pain and you try dating, you will find that your choices lead to more heartbreak, confusion, and impatience.

Think of it this way, when you have a job, but you’re interested in something better, you look with confidence because you have something to fall back on. When you are jobless and looking for a job, you look with desperation and it shows when you interview. When you’re confident in yourself, and you know what you want you date with confidence and you won’t settle for anything less than what you deserve. But if you date while you’re still hurting you will date with desperation because you have a void to fill and you seek healing from an outside source rather than from yourself. You risk settling and further disappointment. I know because I have done this, and it doesn’t feel good.

Healing your heart and mind leads to confidence and a strong self-esteem. This will pay off for you in so many ways. You will see a difference in other areas of your life, not just in dating but how you dress, how you talk with people, your productivity, and outlook in life. You become more inspired and eager about the future because you no longer rely on someone else to make you happy.

And this me now:

A HAPPY CONFIDENT WOMAN WITH GOALS, ASPIRATIONS, AND SELF-LOVE.

If someone happens to walk into my life and they end up being wonderful, I’m all for it.

Until then, I’m simply enjoying life, growing, loving, learning, teaching, occassionally swiping left and right, and LIVING.

What about you?